


Good Grief

by theweightofmyfandoms



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theweightofmyfandoms/pseuds/theweightofmyfandoms
Summary: The doctor is fixing his TARDIS when he hears a song and remembers.  After Rose but before Donna
Kudos: 1





	Good Grief

_“Every minute of every hour_

_I miss you I miss you I miss you more.”_

There was something wrong with the TARDIS again. It was picking up signals from somewhere. Different songs would play randomly. The doctor had been trying, with no avail, to triangulate the source or fix the glitch or whatever was causing this. But his attention had been caught by a spoken line. At first he thought someone was in the TARDIS with him, before realizing that it was just part of the song. However once he started paying attention, he began to remember. He wished he hadn’t.

_Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers_

_Shut my eyes and count to ten_

_It goes in one ear out the other, one ear out the other_

_Burning bright right till the end_

_Now you'll be missing from the photographs, missing from the photographs_

He had realized that it was practically written about her. She had burned so brightly that she had caught his eye and lit up his life. She had given him a purpose again. He had suddenly felt as though he would give the all the stars in all the skies to this girl. And he had. He had made sure to take her to the most amazing of places, to the far ends of infinity and back again. He wanted to show her everything before her life was up. And he had tried. But she had gone too soon. There would be no more images of her to capture and hold in his memory for infinity.

_Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers_

_In my thoughts you're far away_

_And you are whistling the melody, whistling the melody_

_Crystallizing clear as day_

_Oh, I can picture you so easily, picture you so easily_

He could still picture her. He could picture her on the day they met. He could picture her face when she decided to come with him. He could see the wonder in her eyes as they stepped out onto that snow covered street on the night they met Charles Dickens. He remembered how she had looked when she realized that he was really still himself after his regeneration. He remembered how she had cried as he said goodbye.

_What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?_

_What’s gonna be left of the world, oh_

The Earth had no point. He wouldn’t be able to go back. Not for a long time. She was just too strong there. He saw her in the blond strangers on the street and in the shops where she used to work. He saw her in all the places they’d been and all the people they’d saved. But she wasn’t there. That flash of hot pink and blond hair wasn’t her. That voice that called out from a street corner wasn’t her. That girl in the shop wasn’t her. She was just, gone.

_Every minute and every hour_

_I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more_

_Every stumble and each misfire_

_I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more_

He had heard that time heals all wounds. But things are different for someone who travels through time as easily as one might take a train to the next town over. Time doesn’t heal anything. Time just makes the hole bigger and the ache worst. Every time he would stumble or make a mistake, he expected her to be there with a smile or a stupid comment. But she wasn’t. God he missed her. He’d sell his soul for just one more day.

_Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers_

_Caught off guard by your favourite song_

_I'll be dancing at a funeral, dancing at a funeral_

_Sleeping in the clothes you love_

_It's such a shame we had to see them burn, shame we had to see them burn_

She had worn his clothing on occasions when she didn’t have her own or she just didn’t feel like wearing it. But now he’d wear that clothing as much as possible. Because she had worn it. Because she had been there. Because she had been alive.

_You might have to excuse me_

_I've lost control of all my senses_

_And you might have to excuse me_

_I've lost control of all my words_

_So get drunk, call me a fool_

_Put me in my place, put me in my place_

_Pick me up, up off the floor_

_Put me in my place, put me in my place_

He couldn’t feel anything the way he used to. All of time and space had her fingerprints. She was everywhere. She was in every person and every world that they had saved, and in all the ones he’ll have to save alone. Because that’s what he is now. All alone in the universe. The last of the Timelords. And he doesn’t even have a hand to hold.

_'Cause every minute and every hour_

_I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more_

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Good Grief by Bastille


End file.
